Bellybuttons.

I am thinking about bellybuttons today. Is the correct spelling bellybuttons or belly buttons? Spell check corrects neither. I need to check on that.

I should not be thinking about bellybuttons, but I am.

You see, in 15 or so days, I could no longer have one. I could be bellybuttonless. Spell check wanted to change that – but I am not going to. I imagine it is really no big deal. I receive any nourishment through it. It does not breath for me. Someone once told me I should have a window installed in place of my bellybuttons. Seems I had my head up my ass that day and it would help me to see. It really provides no real pleasure. I have never let a cute girl do a body shot out of it (Note to self – must try this if Surgeon does not lose my bellybutton). It can be a storage facility, a portable storage facility for lint.

Sometimes when I sweat, my bellybutton stinks. You have to get real close to smell it, but it can have a rather ripe aroma. Warning, stay away from Jim’s bellybutton after a workout! That warning may no longer be necessary in 2 weeks.

15 days and potentially no bellybutton. You may be asking why? Ok, here is the deal. Dr. Hollin’s casually informed me with the Abdominoplasty, I have, well actually he has, a 40% chance of losing my bellybutton. That is really almost one in two, fifty/fifty, ot fitty/fitty. How does a man, so well educated, so well trained, a master plastic surgeon actually lose my belly button?

At first, I also just casually said “Ok”! Now I am not so sure it is Ok with me.

Think about it, I am almost 50 years old, and never once, not even once for a second, lost my bellybutton. One time I went to the Del Mar Fair in California, I lost my son for about 10 seconds, It was scary, seemed like an eternity. I lose my keys almost every day. Yet, I have never lost my bellybutton for even one second, and in 14 days I could have lost it forever. Weird.

SWMBO watch’s all kinds of surgery shows. Loves them. I used to, until I watched the one about the vasectomy. Ouch! I don’t watch them anymore. But she, nor I have ever heard about this 40% bellybutton losing phenomena due to this particular surgery. I know I should be thinking about other things. Like not waking up after anesthesia. Insurance. Disability. Who is going to take care of my customers while I am recovering.

But I am not. I am pondering the outcome of my bellybutton.

Sure, I am thinking occasionally about the other aspects of this surgery, a slimmer, trimmer me. No more scary skin. No more rashes. Yep, I said rashes. Ewwww! But I really want to keep my bellybutton. It is a nice bellybutton, and somehow is part of the complete me. I have been told, he can make a new one, but it really doesn’t look the same. I have been told I can have one tattooed on. That would be cool, probably will add the words “Insert Lint Here” or “Imagine the aroma”. But do I really want a tattooed bellybutton on place of the original?

I don’t really want to lose my belly button. Note to self, I should take a picture of my bellybutton, just in case???? Heh!