Mar 28, 2008 - Frightened

It frightens me that I may forget the way I was.

Here I am 4 months and 10 days post-op. Everything is bright and new. SWMBO has had her surgery and is healing wonderfully. She is tolerating all her soft mushy foods. I have had very few issues in my healing process. I am working out, getting smaller in physical size, but stronger everyday. Shopping for clothing that fits is a blast. Goodwill is my friend. Getting rid of the Big Guy clothing is even more rewarding.

But, I am frightened that I may loose touch with these feelings.

It is already difficult for me to remember that way I was just four months ago. I am glad that I have blogged and kept a photo record of the journey. I don't see that man in the mirror any longer. The round face, the squinky eyes. Yes, I said squinky. No grief please, I know its not a word....yet. But, I don't see that guy any more. Just like I don't remember Jim Ranes revision 1992. I bring that up, because today I am just 10 pounds away from being that man again. I will be the same weight I was in very early 1992. I was 31 years old then and was about to cross into 300 pound territory, and did not even realize it. It was the beginning of, as a close friend of mine has called it, "The Downward Spiral".

Please Lord, don't let me forget this.

That spiral for me wasn't one of pain and suffering, at least until recently, but more one of apathy and excess. Apathy in the way I took care of myself and excess in the foods that I consumed. How can we, as educated, adult people, not see what we are doing to ourselves with food. As a Businessman, with many clients, it has become very painfully obvious lately about the size of portions that we, as Americans, eat on an all to often routine basis. It is crazy, just crazy. A wise man has said that God's only mistake, (I believe He has made none) is making our stomachs the size that He did. We could easily survive with stomachs 1/2 or 1/3 the normal size. I know I survive with a pouch the size of a walnut. We as a nation are killing ourselves with food.

I will not forget this!

Very well, off the pulpit. I just want to thank all of you, the readers of this blog for your support and prayers. It is still an amazing and crazy ride. Intoxicating to say the least. I am 8 pounds away from 1992. Oh, I am so glad to be 32 again!

Current Stats

Current Weight - 308 pounds (130 pounds gone) Goal 200 Pounds
Waist 46 inches ( 16 inches gone forever) Goal 38 inches
Shirt Size - Comfortable Regular Store 2X (Big Mans 5X just 4 months ago) Goal L/XL

Yep - I love this life and I won't forget! (Thanks Shrinkydink)